alex is cool

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A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

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Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

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The t rex said to the textbook ............. Im not going to read you

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why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

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Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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What's worse than homework? A basket full of mutilated puppies....

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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There are two angry guys in a park on their lunch break What do they do? They eat their sandwich and go back to work to settle a peace treaty.

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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Not really a anti joke: Superman is flying over town when he suddenly spots a completely naked Spiderwoman moaning and all sweaty while rubbing her her legs, This gets Superman really h0rny but does not want to get caught, so he flies down and bangs away so fast nobody notices a thing a thing and leaves. Spiderwoman: Hey honey whats wrong? Please come lie on top of me again! Invisible Man: AAAAAAARGH!!! IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE A DAMN BOWLING BALL UP MY ASS HOLE!!!

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Name three similarities between racism and sexism I, S and M

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Today if my birthday, and I got given the Anti Joke Book! Happiness!

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What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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The 80's called. They need their couch back.

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A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

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How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

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An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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White NBA players.

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Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

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how doyou wake up lady gaga youu poke er face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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