ill have a no.9 a n.9 large

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What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls over.

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What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? "Robin, get in the batmobile!"

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asks the bartender. "I'm a horse, it's genetic." replied the horse, confused at the bartender's infantile understanding of evolution and other species.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

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What do you call a man with no arms? Richard, as that is his name.

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What is the biggest killer in America? Death.

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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What is Dora the Explorer's favorite food? Pussy.

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the game

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Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

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What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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What do you call somebody who can't walk? Handicapped

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What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

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Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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