How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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A guy finds a genie bottle. He rubs it. A genie appears and grant him 3 wishes. He wishes for a splendid woman, a lot of money, and a house.

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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Many people believe that dogs are mammals. They're right

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a naked man walks into a bar the police arrived 10 minutes

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A gay man walks down a street before being stabbed to death by a homophobe.

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Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? a guy who copies antijokes on ant joke.com

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Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

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How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

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Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

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two friends are hanging out, one says to the other "whats 5 plus 5" the other says, "you know i didnt finish school and i dont appriceate you making fun of me" the other boy looks away and walks off

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Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

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What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

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What do you call a fish with no I's Animal cruelty

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An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

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Brenda said she found a pill to stop the effects of aging! It was a cyanide pill, Brenda is dead.

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"Everyone be very quite. Dont say a word or well get eaten by the big, fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "A word or well get eaten by the big fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "Look how clever Charles is now were all screwed."

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A hat

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have Somthing To tell you F*** You

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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