Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Suzy has no arms! Knock Knock! Who's There? The Holocaust

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

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Okay.

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what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

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What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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A guy at a baseball game....

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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What did the robot say to the boy? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and started to strangle the boy. The authorities tried to get the robot to stop but robots are too strong. When the robot had killed the boy, it self destructed.

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What's the opposite of white? Black. You're racist. You fapped.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

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Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

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what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

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Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops