would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

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What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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can you pass the soap?

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

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what class did Jimmy get an A in? None, he is dyslexic

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Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill.

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops