Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

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What did the man say when he realized that he was late for work? "Shit, I'm late for work."

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"knock, knock" "who is there?" Gestapo

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Let's play twenty questions. Alright, but I have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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There is a bunch of penguins and they fall of a cliff

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Two peanuts were crossing a road. One was salted.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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women's rights

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What's the worst joke ever? Justin Bieber.

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A white man and a drunken black man enters the bar, the bartender calls the cop and the black man is dragged into the police car. The black man screams YOU ARE RACIST! YOU DAMN RACISTS! The cops tell him he has been walking around the streets naked the last 2 days... Oooh... I am really sorry sir says the black man. He was forgiven and went sober forever. Moral: No moral, that is the anti moral in this anti joke...and besides I am a W class celebrity.enjoy life

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

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A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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You you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you. Way do go lazy you didn't read all the you's so you didn't realize there was a yoo in there. But now you realize there aren't any yoo's there way to go.

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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What looks red and smells like barf? Depends on how you look at the situation.

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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Why did they chicken cross the road? It didn't. A van ran it over when it was halfway across.

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How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops