Why did to plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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What did the blind quadriplegic get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What comes out of a zit? Purple poop.

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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Why do women love Panera Bread? They think it's healthy.

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What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

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what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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How do you know when it's hot outside? When you walk oside and it's hot.

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Four black guys have a picnic. One of them pulls out a bag of KFC. Another pulls out some Kool Aid. The third pulls out a watermelon. The fourth pulls out a box of cookies you racist prick

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Knock knock Who's there The military, your son died last night.

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wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

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Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

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What do you call a guy named Bob hanging by a string? Plum Bob

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What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

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What's worse than the holocaust? The Jews.

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Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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Paul walks on a bridge. It collapses.

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Pacient: Doctor Doctor i think im becoming a vegetable... because of my heriditory bone marrow mutation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops