Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it felt like it!

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Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

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Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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What do you call a woman with one leg? I don't know. I am not in the position, currently, of knowing anyone who finds themselves in such an unfortunate condition.

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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Lol! The connection timed out. Double D`s they kill my back so I am gonna get them reduced someday, and sure because it gets really itchy otherwise.

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What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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Your mom says hi!.........Jinks!!!! yeah yeah yeah yeah yeaaaah.

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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You are joking right?

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How do you get a Mother out of a tree? Ask them to come down, because it is really not socially acceptable for a responsible adult to be climbing trees.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have herpees.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to his party? Because he used to be alive and was burned to death by an overturned truck carrying chemical's so his family canceled the party to organise the funeral.

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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When geese migrate, why is one side of the V longer than the other? There are more birds on that side.

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He had no legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops