Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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Why did the woman say ow? She was shot in the foot

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What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia......

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what do u call blue fluff? blue fluff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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