You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

What did the Ginger get for his birthday? A soul...................................……................……………•

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

Why'd the littler girl fall of the swing? because a drunk driver ran through the swing, the little girl was killed. he was later charged with manslaughter.

what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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