A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

So, I walked into my friends house and MAH DEDDEHS DECK was outside bruh

A blind man walks into a bar. Another man asks him if hes ever seen the new movie that came out. he then replies, "i heard it" then curled up into a ball and cries for several hours.

Whos better at Hide and go Seek, Anne Frank or Osama Bin Laden? -Why dont you tell me, they're both dead !

A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

Why couldn't the dwarf mother reach for the top shelf? Her height was at a mini-mum.

What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

roses are red poo is poo

What is more black than a Nigerian marathon runner? The night sky

What does it take to play in the WNBA? Nothing....

What do you call a black man driving a plane? You don't call it anything. You don't drive a plane you fly it.

Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

Why was Emily in Alaska? Because she and some friends had been playing Simon Says at a birthday party, and the dad had said 'Simon Says go to Alaska'.

Why was the woman arrested for trying to have sex with a miner? Because he was on the job and her advances were completely unwanted.

Roses are Red Violets are Red Grass is Red Trees are Red My yard is on fire.

What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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