Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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Why was the black man drowning? His boat sank.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

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What are annoying? Ads.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

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Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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