Knock-Knock Who's there? The UPS guy dumb ass

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning. This is also known as sunburn.

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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Your mom is so ugly and stupid that people make fun of her and that's not nice.

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

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do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

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What do you call a boy with one arm one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

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What's black and white and read all over? Corn, I lied about everything.

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

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Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

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What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

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knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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