how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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A gay man named pat played on a gay website with a child named Charlie

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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What do you call a purple apple? Bruised.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Person1: Man I had the worst day ever. Person2: Worser than the holocaust.

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

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How do you know when an Asian has robbed your house? You have informed the police, who in turn searched the house for DNA evidence, eventually leading them to the criminal, who just so happened to be a troubled Asian teenager attempting to join a local gang.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're a whore

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nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

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Which ballet do pigs like best? Pigs don't understand ballet, but they probably like the ones with audience participation, as they are friendly animals and enjoy interacting with humans.

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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