Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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What is the biggest lie in the world How the **** should I know

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Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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The Oakland Raiders

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

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I drove my Chevy to the levy. It was dry.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

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What is worse than going to school? Nothing.

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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