I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

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What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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