- Anti Joke

A recently widowed blond was on her way to an appointment with her attractive physician, when she realized that she was almost out of gas, so she stopped to refuel at a station near his office.

How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

Q:Whats worse then hard nipples A:The holocaust

Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

race-car = rac-ecar

What's the difference between and train carriage and a miscarriage? You can't eat a train carriage!

A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Whats Brown, Long and is on every black man? Legs

How do you make Samuel L. Jackson cry? Trick question...Samuel L. Jackson don't cry. ever...

What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

Why did the toilet paper roll? Because it isn't rock!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

what is the difference between my girlfriend and my black pet bunny .... i raped my black pet bunny

What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.