Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i am in sex mode, why the F**k are you!!

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A seal walks into a club, It proceeds to maul customers and then makes its way back to the ocean where it lives.

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Knock knock! Who's there? ... There was no reply because the person who knocked was the mailman delivering a package, and he had a tight schedule so he couldn't stay around to chat.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bike

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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yo mammas so fat when she gets cut gravy pours out

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Republicans

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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why was the boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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whats hard long and you put it in your mouth everyday a toothbrush

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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Soo if ur on a jet ski and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? Pickle.

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Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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What did the racist black man say to the white man? Nothing they both died in a car accident.

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Why is it a shame if a kid gets run over by a car? I like the newspaper headlines about stabbings better.

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Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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A king's son's birthday was coming up and the king asked,"Son i'm the king. You can have anything you want." And the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." For his birthday he got a rollar coster, a pizzaria, a new car, and of corse, some purple ping pong balls. The next year the king asked,"Son, i'm the king, you can have anything you want." and the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." And for his birthday he got a manchin, an iphone, a water park, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. One day, the prince was driving in his car and was in a terrible car accadent. On his death bed, his father asked him one final question,"Son, why did you want all of those purple ping pong balls?" And the son answered,"Well, i wanted all of them because-" and then he died.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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