Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

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Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

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A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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What do you call a black man that works with out pay? A volunteer

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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A man once went duck pin bowling, 5 years later he died of leukemia.

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what is big and can make things come out? a gun

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette have a contest to see who can get the most likes on their profile pictures. They are all attention-whores.

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What did the Asian man say to the Mexican man? Nothing, due to the language barrier.

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What do you call a concentration camp with a mental disability? Auschwistic.

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How do you end a sentence

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Nerochan, it was really nice chatting with you, I hope we can chat some other time... Please tell me why you are upset with me, just pick up the phone, I mean let me know what I did you wrong.

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You know what they say about a man's feet... No i don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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