Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar. And has a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are Red Violets are blue This joke isn't funny And neither are you!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I once saw a fat child eating a sandwich. I wondered what was inside.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops