Roses are red, violets are blue, the little midget is coming for you. If you don't run and if you don't hide, you will probably be stepped on because of my incredible big size.

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What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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a guy walked into a bar, ordered a drink, sipped it slowly thinking of his waisted youth. then he finished his drink and went home to his wife of 34 years

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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Whats black, and chrispy inside...? A black guy with bonecancer

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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A child rides his bike down the sidewalk and stops at an intersection. He looks both ways, then crosses the road. What was he looking for? His family.

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What did the elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. -Albert Einstein... LOL JOKES my name is PJ.

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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David Cameron

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

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Why did the girl run to school Because a lion was chasing her

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What makes Amish bread different than regular bread? It's made by Amish people

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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