Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar... However, it's really busy, so they leave and go to a different bar.

What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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