Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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Q. What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A. A gay bar

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What's the difference between a red door and a blue door? Fat black people.

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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what's brown and sticky? A Stick

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Whats fleash color fleash color and fleashcolor? a naked hobo rolling down a hill

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are u crying?

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Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

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Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

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Indians

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

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What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

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I'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

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Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

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Why did the Asian woman get into a car accident? She didn't pay attention in driver school and sped through a red light and hit a bus that killed 14 children.

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An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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