Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

roses are blue violets are red dont judge me

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy launched a flare. Nobody came.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did the black guy swim across the Atlantic? He didn't. He was prepared to, but then went on Expedia and found a ticket with Continental Airlines that was in his budget. He did not like the amount of service he recieved, and decided in the future he will save up and fly with a different company, or in fact swim across.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? "I don't like Asians."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

thumb_up thumb_down +4

'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what is big and white? Your Mom

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Hispanic guy walks into a bar. The white guy orders a beer, the black guy orders a shot of vodka, the Asian guy orders a sake, and the Hispanic guy orders a shot of tequila. They were drinking and having a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the kindergartener crying in the corner? His family was poor and his father abused him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops