What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? Nothing, they're both horses

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Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

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2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

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'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

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A drunk guy walks into a car

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? "I don't like Asians."

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Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

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Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

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How did the black guy swim across the Atlantic? He didn't. He was prepared to, but then went on Expedia and found a ticket with Continental Airlines that was in his budget. He did not like the amount of service he recieved, and decided in the future he will save up and fly with a different company, or in fact swim across.

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

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A casual web surfer logs onto a website and reads half a joke.

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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Whats funnier than 24 ? 25

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how many poeple does it take to change a light bulb? you spelled people wrong.

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how many people were on the bus........ 0 cause the bus was parked for 45 years

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I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

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Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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