How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

Theres two things i hate in this world... racists . . . and black people

Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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