- Anti Joke

Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

HAVING OTHER LESBIAN'S OVARIES C AUGHT A AROUND U MBRELLAS SITTING TREES

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

What do a priest, a rabbi, and an asian have in common? They all don't know each other.

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... next house T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... next house T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

an american walks out of a strip club.

Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? 15 minutes in the oven.

What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

What did the guy say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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