There was a horse in a very hot sumer day. He was in the middle of corn field It was so hot that the corns started popping out. The horse thought it was snowing and died of cold.

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What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

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Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

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one day ill be as old as you but you'll be older then too.

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A blonde boards a plane and sits in first class. Another passenger sees the blonde in his seat and tells her she's in the wrong seat. "I'm not moving!" says the blonde. The passenger calls over the flight attendant. "Ma'am, you're supposed to be seated in economy class," says the flight attendant. "Please come with me." "No! I'm not moving!" The flight attendant informs the pilot. The pilot comes out, whispers in the blonde's ear, and then the two have wild sex, right in the open. Oh my God, you should have been there. She had the most incredible rack ever!!!

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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Whats the difference between a house and a mouse If you think about it , quite a lot really

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A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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What did the president do for the people? ...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

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What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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Why did the stereo break? Cause little Johnny threw a bat at it.

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What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow wh- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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