Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

how much will u suck my dick for? $100, $50, $25, o u said none so u give freebees!!!!

Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

Lebron James got a new iPhone, but he has to keep it on vibrate because he doesn't have any rings.

An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

whats brown and stickey? a brown stick

Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

Why was little Timmy so fast? Because he's tied up in the trunk of a speeding car.

What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

Why did the black homosexual blind man want to go to the comedy club? He enjoys a good laugh

What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

What do a woman and a puzzle have in common? Both couldn't vote before 1920... the puzzles still can't vote

How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

An anti joke a day... really doesn't actually do that much

How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

1234567890? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

how did the man with the gun die? obesity

Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the tree fall over? The koala forgot to let go.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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