Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

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How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

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How do you piss of camon? Have sex with shelby!

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Knock Knock. Who`s there? Hadooouuuuuuu! Hadou who? KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! PERFECT!!! Perfect Bonus: 38493483948394839483984 Skill 0000000 Your life 0 Bonus 9001

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whats a muslims name with a bomb to his chest Whatever his name is HAHAHAHAHAH

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A black man has a woman up against a wall, and she is screaming. they are passionate lovers and he is pleasing her greatly.

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

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osama bin laden is dead

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

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Why didn't Joe want to stand up? Because he had no legs!

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bipolar NO I'M NOT!!

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What happens when you give a guinea pig a cherry? He turns into satan.

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A: knock knock B: who's there A:come in B:come in who?

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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roses are read, violets are blue. i have alzheimers and Jill came tumbling down.

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My math homework brings all the asians to the yard and their like it wasent that hard and their like it wasent that hard. comment what song it is like.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops