How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

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What is the cost of an abortion? 1 life

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How do you call a hispanic man crossing the border? First you must find out his phone number, then using a different phone make a phone call to him.

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A mexican walks out a mexican restaurant.

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what has two legs and is red all over a fireman doing his job

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

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Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

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All of the people in the burning building escaped except for one what was wrong with that one person? He was a blind, could not hear and was in a wheelchair.

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What is spiky and opens up wide? The Mouth…what were you thinking you perv?

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops