So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

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Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

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What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

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Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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A blind man walk in to a bar... He then yells a 4 letter explative, backs up, and walks around it.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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A guy walks into a bar and finds a genie. The genie says he'll grant him 3 wishes. He wished for a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. POOF! All 3 wishes were granted to him. The blonde drinks a shot a tequila, the brunette drinks a beer, and the redhead drinks a whiskey. They had a great time.

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What do gay horses eat? Horse dick.

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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Why was Little Timmy crying ? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus. Knock-Knock! Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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What did the teenage girl get for just sweet 16? An abortion

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A black man walks out of a police station

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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