When I meet the woman of my dreams, she wont know what hit her... Nor will the police.

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

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What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

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A three-legged prostitute, a coal miner, and R. Kelly walk into an all-midget rendition of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. The miner has a heart attack and dies. The concubine and the vocalist do nothing to help.

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Women are only good for seventy-one things: Love A proper home to come home to everyday 69

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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Knock knock. Who's there? Josh. Lettuce who? I didn't say "lettuce"... I said Josh.

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why did the chicken cross the street? so it could throw a fridge at you, you are very loud at night for some reason and you wake everyone up. the chicken then goes home to watch gay porn videos.

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Cancer.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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What happens when you get caught inside a tornado? You don't, the debris around you will most certainly kill you before you get close to the tornado.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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Where would it be hard to find handicapped parking? At the paralympics.

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he saw a rather desperate looking homeless person coming towards him, and, realizing he had no change, figured it was the best way to avoid an awkward situation.

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS ROAD?!!! cause he was silly

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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how many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did the ethiopian give his wife for her birthday? HIV

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A jew walks into a church. he wishes to be touched by God.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

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two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops