A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

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A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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What worse than stubbing your toe? Getting raped by a panda.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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So there is a muslum, then he flew a plane into a building and died a sudden death. But he was wearing a helmet.

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binladin walks into the american seals

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Why did Alec cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by an axe.

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What word is always spelled wrongly? None of them. Every word has been spelled right at some point.

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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Don't you hate it when you have 5 dead bodies, and you don't know which one to shoot your load on? -no

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being disturbed by two black guys raping a young girl with leukemia

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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What did Rihanna remember when she corrected Chris Browns tweets she can't remember last thing she saw was a fist

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Why did the little girl have grass stains on her white dress? Because she was dragged into the forest and raped.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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A hooded black man walks into a Convenience store. He orders a cup of hot chocolate as it is very cold outside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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