What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

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mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

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sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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Q: What's funnier than rape? A: Many things such as murder or nuclear warfare.

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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What do you get when you cross black man and a Hispanic woman A child that is a combination of both ethnic groups

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THIS!!!!!!! IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Why did the boys shout ZACHATTACK? Because zach was attacking

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Yo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress, everyone yelled "HEY, KOOL-AID!"

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What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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How do you drown a blond? You hold her underwater.

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Hey, you must be a parking ticket. Because you are on the windshield of my car.

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Little Anny fell on a sidewalk. Why isn't she crying? 'Cause I've thrown her out off the tenth floor.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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Whats The difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull? One's a dog ones a human. 363\

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Why didn't susie use the jump rope She had no arms, replied carl No, susie doesn't like using jump ropes replies the mother

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Women's rights

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Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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