How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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How do you confuse a blonde? You put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.

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Why are hurricanes named after women? They're wet and wild when they come and take your car and house when they leave.

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A moose walks into a store, walking up to an employee he says "Where are the potatoes?" The employee replies "Isle 5." The moose thanks the employee and heads off to find Isle 5. Upon reaching isle 5- he finds no potatoes.

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What do you call a person trying to rob a store with no arms? Peter Pan

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What do you give a gay guy on his birthday? a invition to strait camp

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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What's worse than a holocaust? two holocausts.

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

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How do you know when an elephant is in your refrigerator Theres printson the cheese cakes

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Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it slipped from his hand.

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an irishman an american and a jihadist get a plane were did they go right through my house

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

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Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

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In the time it has taken you to read this, a small African child has died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops