A boy asks a wolf, "whats the time mr wolf?" The wolf does not answer. Wolves possess neither watches, nor the neurone in their brain required to talk.

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can you touch your toes? no

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Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

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What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

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Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

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What do pancakes and Smokie Bear have in common? They both don't have aids

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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Roses are red,violets are blue I've got aids & now so do you Merry Christmas

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What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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What did the catholic priest do to the little boy in the Confessions Took his confessions

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How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

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A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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