Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into another apple and finding the other half

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What's the new green? Green

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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joke hahhahahah where did u find that joke, on the internet

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- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

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Roses are red Violets are blue What about pansies

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

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hey! have you seen that clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?

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Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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Pickles are powerful

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Knock Knock Jehovah's witnesses!

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How did the Jewish man play racquetball? With a racket and a birdie.

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Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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whats green and lives in the water

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Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

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What are crabs with out the crabs Nothing hahahahaha

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A spatial closet situates trolls beside the whistle.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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