A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

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Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf, any situation with her in the drivers seat of a car would have serious implications.

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why dont i play socker because im not waering socks

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Q: What do you call a barn full of black people? A: Antique farm equipment.

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Who looks like Bill Cosby, Smells like Bill Cosby, But isn't Bill Cosby? An imposter who should be sent to jail.

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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If at first you dont succeed..... your not chuck norriss

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A women answers the phone. -"Hello?" -"Yes, hi, have I reached the Smiths?" -"No, you've reached the wrong number" The two women hand up, and continue with their lives.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A tractor.

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I? Everett

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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If a bunch of midgets do the wave, is it a ripple ?

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had celebral palsy.

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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What was the last thing that went through the WTC jumper's head? His ankles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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