Q.) What do you call a black man on the moon? A.) An astronaut.

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why is andreas making a pizza? since he dosent get laid he likes the feeling of the sauce stinging on his dick

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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what did the baby say to his mum? he sed bfirbvuirnvkjwmndckie

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Three men walk into a bar, the bartender asks why are you three men in here? The men look confused and suddenly leave

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Q:What business did the black man break into? A: The business of show, because he was a talented actor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I forgot.

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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How do you make a clown cry? You hit them with an axe

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and now has two jobs to support her family.

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what happened to the boy who got hit by a truck he went to the hospitel

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Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

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:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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Y R U A B? I don't know why I am a bee.

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wat do u call a person who is ugly ugly

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What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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Richard Nixon walks into a bar. Everyone is thrilled to meet a former President of the United States who returned from the grave.

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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