Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

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Whats yellow and gives you cancer? The sun

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A moose walks into a store, walking up to an employee he says "Where are the potatoes?" The employee replies "Isle 5." The moose thanks the employee and heads off to find Isle 5. Upon reaching isle 5- he finds no potatoes.

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what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.

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This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

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Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

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Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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What do you call a rabbit with carrots in its ears? Anything, it can't hear you!

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How do you make a clown happy then sad? You give him pot then shoot him in the foot

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how do you delete your joke off anti-joke? you don't.

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two friends are hanging out, one says to the other "whats 5 plus 5" the other says, "you know i didnt finish school and i dont appriceate you making fun of me" the other boy looks away and walks off

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How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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1 error prohibited this post from being saved There were problems with the following fields: * Body can't be blank

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What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

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What would you call Martin Luther King Jr. If he was alive today? Alive

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Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

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my name is piare (peeair) because my balder is empty

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A man walks into a bar hes later assassinated and mourned by his family.

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what is bad about being a black jew? you have to sit in the back of the oven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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