What is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the black man do when he walked into the bar? He went up the bartender and bought a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference a black person and a park bench? A park bench is a object and a black person is human.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Neither does the chicken. (you're supposed to laugh...)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whay lawrence pearson ir r8 gay

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? I don't eat pizza

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Everybody will die

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red Violets are blue I like peanut butter Can you fly?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why did the white man die? A: because he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did your mum die young because she had canser

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a black midget in space? The first true example of how hard work, dedication and sacrifice can help you to achieve your goals.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why don't meth addicts like food? Because they have not teeth to chew it with.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why is Keven's name spelled with an E Because his parents are black.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops