What did the little boy say to Micheal Jackson? Shouldn't you be dead?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How did the man eat 100 mints in one bite? I'm not sure myself, but we can agree on one thing, his breath is gonna fresh.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Getting voted down to page 4067

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

thumb_up thumb_down -11

In Soviet Russia, you wouldn't have a likely chance of surviving because of Stalin's mass paranoia and total neglect for his fellow man.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do men and parking spots have in common? Both often have cars on top of them. Vehicular manslaughter is a serious issue.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

To mama so old, she might die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between an apple and a fruit? None

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A blonde walks into a bar. She got free drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Evan Ramsey hahaha go CAD

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call 4 Mexicans getting into a car late at night? 3rd Shift carpooling

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the black man buy a gun? Because he and his family live in a dangerous neighborhood.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops