you: have you seen the movie constapated them:no you:its because it hasen't come out yet

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Why did the cop shoot his 4 year old son? Because the little bitch ate his leftovers

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

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what do you call a tall black man with big ears? orangatang

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Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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What's worse than being raped? Not a whole lot-- rape is a very serious mental and emotional strain that will stick with a person for the remainder of their life.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? The black man is a human being with all of man's well-deserved rights, and the large pizza is an edible item. Furthermore, the black man, if adult and employed, has the propensity to feed a family of four far longer than a large pizza can.

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What do you have, if you have fists the can kill someone in one punch? Hulk's DNA

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what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

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Homo say what?

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What's worse than a bad joke? A joke that end's mid sente--

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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What did tyler say to Jake? My pussy is wet jew

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2 Priests and a Monk walk into a bar, All 3 were stabbed to death in a bar fight.

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two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

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What did the plane say to the twin towers on 9/11 - Nothing, how do you expect planes to talk, stop hallucinating and stop with the drugs

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead. Dead people can't drive.

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What do you call a Muslim man flying a plane? The pilot.

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Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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