- Anti Joke

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

who is gay wit mon james cornish

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

How did the man die? He was killed alive.

Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops