Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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How did the black guy swim across the Atlantic? He didn't. He was prepared to, but then went on Expedia and found a ticket with Continental Airlines that was in his budget. He did not like the amount of service he recieved, and decided in the future he will save up and fly with a different company, or in fact swim across.

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What happened to the boy that got hit by a bus? He was by a 2nd bus, by which he felt no pain because the first bus crushed his lungs and skull causing suffocation and profuse hemorraging.

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Because you touch yourself.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Three Lawyers are walking, one falls down, gets up and continues walking

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There are 2 muffins in an oven One of the muffins says to the other 'Jeez it's hot in here' Then the other muffin replied, 'OH MY GOD IT'S A FRICKEN TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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mommy mommy! why are we pushing the car over the cliff?! the mom answers shhh youll wake your father...

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None of the sex jokes are not funny or not funny. They're just inappropriate.

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What do u call a ginger man with no ears? What ever the hell u want Because he's deaf

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

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Knock knock Whos there Who Who who Don't stutter it was just a joke

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What do you call an African man with no legs? Murderer

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Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

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Vote this down and get DOXED

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LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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What's Arabs' cutlery? Bread

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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