Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

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How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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i dont fisish anythi

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How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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You had better thumbs up this post.

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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Why couldn't billy hear his mom on the phone? Because Billy is deaf.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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what's mouthwatering and smells like fish? salmon

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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What was the last thing that went through the WTC jumper's head? His ankles.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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