Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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the awkward moment when a sentence doesnt end the way you think it octopus

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Oooh. That fish smells delicious.

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How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

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when your out of toilet paper what do you do? get more

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What do you call a poor man on the side of the rode asking for money? A poor man on the side of the rode asking for money.

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There are two cows standing in a field eating grass. The first cow says "moo", the second cow says "Thats funny, I was about to say that".

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

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What do you call the branch of Science that separates the organism's race? RACISM

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Menstrual jokes aren't funny. Period. Neither are 9/11 jokes. Just plane wrong Same with cripple jokes. Can't stand them I don't see why Helen Keller jokes are funny

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Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

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Wife: Does this make me look fat? Husband: Honey, your already fat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

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Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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why did superman die, aids he got from wonder women

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The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

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whats worse than a worm in your apple..? getting shot..

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? That boy that dropped a perfectly good ice cream cone from a road accident involving a bus due to lack of road safety awareness Oh yeah, and I guess the fact that he probably died or was injured for life is pretty bad too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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