Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

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What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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WHO THE FUCK IS NERO AND THAT BITCH THAT CLAIMS TO BE NOT NERO BUT NOT NEROMETAL OR WHATEVER? THEY BOTH CLAIM TO BE THE FUCKING MORAL MAN? I STARTED MY RISE TO INFAMY FOR LIKE... Fuck, when I was still studying, it was a fucking social project to prove that others opinions DO NOT MATTER SHIT IN THE END! And now these bastards (some cult faggot and Some "Nerometal" which are probably the same queer) CLAIM TO BE THE MORALMAN? I AM THE MORAL MAN! I AM YOUR FRIENDLY RAPIST/SOCIOPATH! YOU FAKE QUEERMASTERS! I CHALLENGE YOU!

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What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

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what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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A drunk guy walks into a car

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops