Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

Osama bin Laden walks into a bar. Just joking, he's dead.

Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

Abbie has head so far up her arse, it just LOOKS like it's coming out her neck.

Me - "Wanna hear something that will make me laugh?" *giggles* friend - "Sure." teehee if anyone gets it.

A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

hi hi stop! no yes no no stop no grr lol i will get you back not if i fool grrrrrrr BOOM BOOMBOTH:GRRR BOOM BOOM lol lol both:grrrr THE END BY STICK SMOKER

When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

How do you get a baby out of the blender? Pour it

what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

A chronic hemophilliac walks into a bar. He cuts himself and bleeds to death.

What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

roses are dead violets are gross guess what i'm in your closet

A man was walking through the woods when he comes across a little girl crying by a lake. "What is the matter little girl?" he asked. "My cat fell in the lake ... and it couldn't swim ... so my father jumped in as well and drowned too," she cried," Sad, the man sighed, pulled down his pants and said, "Well I guess today's just not your day,"

What's white and black? Color blind.

Why did the college student post unfunny anti-jokes on anti-joke.com? Because he was bored shitless.

Your at a racism seminar. You learn not to call black people the n word but you know they really deserve it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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