Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who grants them three wishes. The brunette wishes to go back home. The redhead wishes to go back home too. The blonde misses her friends, so she wishes to go back home too.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the farmer say to the other farmer? We are both farmers.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the roost he had recently escaped.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops