What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin My dick in your mouth.

Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: He had no arms Q: Why did the frog fall out of the tree? A: He was stapled to the monkey's face

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

I have a great knock knock joke. You start. Go.

A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

How do black people vote? They go to their polling place, register, then vote for their candidate on election day.

Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

what's worse than stubbing your toe? a hospital fire.

What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

why was one black guy surrounded by ten white guys...... he was a story teller.

…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

Two black guys walk into a bar. One of them was white.

How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Relizing its a used tampon covered with blood.

A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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