are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

so a salesman knocks on a mans' door and asks if he would like to hear a salespitch but the man didn't answer he came back two minutes later and knocked and asked if the man would be intrested in some girl scout cookies and the man tore the door off the hinges.

What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

Why did the horse go to the doctor? It had a heart disease.

Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

When life gives you lemons Unless it gives you sugar, water, and a cup your lemonade will suck

I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

Why did the black man get arrested? He sold cocaine.

So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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