Doctor: I'm gunna try to fit your illness into an everyday, normal conversation. Is that okay? Patient: okay. Doctor: how are you? Patient: fine... Doctor: that's weird.. Because you have AIDS

I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

Q:What is usually pink, brown or black, usually big and comes out smaller, which goes in and out of your mothers mouth? A: Could be lots of things really... Moral: But we all know what you imagined you sick bastard!

Alchohol.

Why did Susie fall off the swing?? ShE had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there? Not Susie

What did the coconut say to the lizard? Nothing, the coconut fell off the tree and killed the lizard.

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

A gay man walks down a street before being stabbed to death by a homophobe.

The verification for this post was debatable: "Which of these does not belong?" George Bush Barack Obama Bill Clinton Ronald Reagan Head of Cabbage Answers on a postcard please... [L]

Why did the fridge break? Because someone threw a fridge at it.

Jokes=Funny Anti=Opposite Anti+Joke=Anti Joke Anti Joke= Anti Humour Anti Humour + People= Offensive Jokes Offensive Jokes= Often jokes about women Offensive Jokes=Problems Women=Problems

(Knocks on Helen Keller's door) You: Knock knock Helen:....

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

Why aren't dragons real? Because if any animal were to breath fire (let alone have a gland that produced it), they would cease to live for their necks would scorch from the inside out.

Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

why did the boy scream? because he got shot.

A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Buy a SHOTGUN!!!!

Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

Q:What is the difference between a Blonde and a Ginger? A: Hair Color

how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Cause KFC was chasing him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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