Why did Johnny throw his money on the floor? Because he was giving it to charity

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A man is watching a football game and sees a comercial for a medicine that boosts testosterone levels. However, this man has no issues with his testosterone levels, so he proceeds to watch the rest of the game and then goes to bed.

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How do you make a penguin fly? You strap it to the roof of a plane.

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Q:Whats worse, being chased by a chainsaw or being dunked on by LeBron James? A:Since a chainsaw has one of the sharpest metal blades know to mankind, it would be the chainsaw. Although this reguires effort, it is a known fact that Lebron James has been dunked on by some kid at Xaiver, so I would think the chainsaw would hurt more.

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roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

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Q: Why was the Asian teacher fired from her job? A: Because she always showed to school too late and to make matters worse the school had recently found out that she was a raging alcoholic.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

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A Priest, a Rabbi and a Shaman walk into a bar. The Bartender looks at them and says "What is this a Joke?"

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Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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"Wow, that was so funny i fell off my dinosaur!" Dinosaurs went extinct in the late Cretaceous period, about 65 million years ago. Commonly believed by scientists across the world to have been caused by an ancient meteor that crashed in the current day Yucatán peninsula in Mexico. Also, even if you were around during the Cretaceous period, i assure you that no dinosaur would let you climb on top of it, let alone ride it while you're not highly terrified because of the sheer danger of the experience. Now unless you are 65 million years old, I highly doubt you laughed so hard that you fell off the dinosaur that you supposedly own.

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Roses are red,violets are blue I've got aids & now so do you Merry Christmas

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Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? You don't. You just shut up and listen.

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Two cows are out in a field grazing. One falls over and dies because it was unhealthy and was ravaged with a deadly disease. The other cow, which does not understand death, continues to graze until the farmer moves it back to the barn.

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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Guess what? You guessed it.

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why did benny go to the 4th grade school nurse? he had a massive erection.

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A baseball, bat, and a glove.

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What's faster than a black man running with a VCR? His son with the receipt of purchase as they realize VCR's are clearly outdated and must be returned right away.

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Why was the black man eating fried chicken and watermelon? He was at home

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Whats in your pants, might get caught in your zipper and you may hold it all day. your pocket.

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Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

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What does a fish and a truck have in common? Nothing. One is a fish & one is a truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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